Sunday, March 22, 2009

Blooming Abundance

It's official, Spring has sprung. So many species are in full bloom. The spring bulbs, the saucer magnolia, forsythia, the fruiting trees and hellebore's. Inside, my green Goddess Amaryllis is in her greenish white glory. 

Of course, we got frost last night...

It has been a chilly windy week, I wimped on working in the community garden yesterday. I should be digging and prepping the beds and planting potatoes this weekend, but the need to rest after working in the cold wind all week seemed more important. All day long, I told myself I should be sketching that amaryllis while it is so fresh.  But the amount of dirty laundry from a busy dirty week took precedence.  I also told myself I should be cleaning and hauling stuff to the salvation army, on & on I beat myself up with shoulds, took a long deep sleep and got very little done, just the basics. What is it with me? It is spring, I should be all gung ho and ready to rock and roll...My taxes are done, why don't I print them out and mail them, I should do the invoicing too. I should be writing a book. 

I just don't feel like it!

I want to watch the flowers bloom, I want to close my eyes and feel the warm sun streaming through the window while I dream. I want to snuggle in the bed with my big brown warm dog and listen to his comforting snores and grunts as he burrows in next to me. I want to be aware of what my dreams are trying to tell me.  I want to lose myself in a  movie about a beautiful road trip....I want to get rid of all my possessions, that I should be taking care of and go on an indefinite road trip myself. 

I finally shut my mind up towards evening and did sketch the beautiful Green Goddess, in between making dinner (which I burnt) and with Finn insisting I play ball till 9 pm. So it was not the most focused of sketching time, but I got it onto paper and a photograph, so I can work on it later and paint it someday. One less should on the list~

I feel like my attitude adjustment will come with the warm weather, when it truly arrives.  Patience, patience.....It is only two days into spring. My attitude mirrors the collective grumbling with the new administration...that we are only two months into!  What is up with our collective energy?  

In truth, all this blooming is telling me to just be, and enjoy the brief moment of celebration going on in nature. It is truly a wonder, and so short lived. I am surrounded by it's abundance and light. The work will get done.  In the meantime all around me, blossoms are nodding in the sunshine and wind. Just wishing I would smile at them.  I do, and as I stare and smile, the name of a fairy comes to me...she wants to be in my book, we converse about how the story will be told. So, as I do nothing, much is getting done. 

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